The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has assigned a foreign company the Herculean task of orchestrating a campaign to cleanse Cyprus' tarnished reputation abroad. The need for this damage control arose from a series of controversial incidents, most notably the Passport Program, which has left unsightly blemishes – known colloquially as "tatses" in Cypriot Greek – on our European ensemble.
Rumors circulated that among the companies bidding for the campaign was a firm associated with our fellow countryman, Jho Low, but such claims have been debunked as inaccurate.
As the number of government officials swells, so does bureaucracy, while governmental efficiency and effectiveness dwindle. Haven't we rewarded enough friends and volunteers by now?
Nikos Anastasiades, in a somewhat perplexing tone, declared that he had delivered a Cyprus that was squeaky clean and fragrant. Consequently, he expressed bewilderment at how we managed to soil it to the point where international intervention was required for a proper scrubbing. The thought crossed my mind to give him a call and seek clarification, but I feared that someone at the Printing Office might intercept my line.
Three new deputy ministries are reportedly in the pipeline. It's a lot of money, and it seems there are many who stand to benefit from this expansion, Nikos. Spare a thought for the unfortunate souls who bear the brunt of these excesses – those paying for multiple pensions, royal salaries, and luxury cars. We currently boast the highest ministerial count per capita on the planet. As the number of government officials swells, so does bureaucracy, while governmental efficiency and effectiveness dwindle. Haven't we rewarded enough friends and volunteers by now? It's high time for some moderation.
The unfortunate truth is that the opposition parties – both genuine and nominal – seem to be willfully blind to these glaring issues. They know that once they regain the keys to the Hill, they, too, will have many individuals to accommodate. Oh, Kasselakis, how we need you now. He isn't beholden to anyone but Zuckerberg and Facebook for his election, a rare quality in our political landscape!
We've written ad nauseam about the exorbitant fines generated by traffic cameras at intersections. They reached a level where they could be considered highway robbery, to the detriment of citizens who expected the state to protect them. The responsible minister seemed impervious to the public outcry and the prospect of disgruntled citizens resorting to the courts. Finally, albeit belatedly, the fines are being adjusted to more reasonable levels. Let's hope they change the lights before they change the penalties.
[This opinion has been translated from its Greek original and may not express the same nuances, idiomatic expressions, and cultural references found in the original]