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By the time you’ve finished work, sorted dinner and checked in on an aging parent, sleep may be the only thing you want from bed. A stretch of low interest in sex can come with a busy period, and desire can shift at different points in life. If the change sticks around and bothers you, it’s worth bringing up with your doctor.
What can take sex off your mind?
- Stress and exhaustion. Work pressure, sleepless nights with a baby or caring for a relative can leave you with little energy for intimacy. Anxiety and depression can also affect desire, as can tension or a loss of trust in a relationship.
- Hormonal changes and discomfort. Desire can change during pregnancy, after childbirth, while breastfeeding or around menopause. Lower estrogen levels during menopause can lead to vaginal dryness, making sex uncomfortable or painful. Difficulty reaching orgasm can also make sex less appealing.
- Health conditions and medication. Diabetes and an underactive thyroid are among the conditions that can affect sex drive. Some medicines, including certain antidepressants, can also play a role. If you noticed a change after starting a prescription, tell the doctor who prescribed it so you can discuss your options.
How often should couples have sex?
There’s no weekly target. Two people can want sex at different times or with different frequency, and a difference in desire alone doesn’t indicate a medical problem. If it’s causing tension, it can help to talk about what feels good, what feels uncomfortable and whether either of you is feeling pressure. A conversation away from the bedroom may be easier to have.
What can help?
A personal doctor or gynecologist can help you work out what changed. If dryness is making sex painful, for instance, a clinician can discuss lubricants, vaginal moisturizers or menopause treatments that may be appropriate. If a medicine may be contributing, your doctor can review it with you. Counseling or sex therapy may help when stress, past experiences or relationship difficulties are part of the picture.
If you’re unsure how to bring it up, a plain sentence is enough to start: “I’ve noticed my sex drive has changed, and I’d like to understand why.”
*Source: Well.cy
