Onasagoras
The new Minister of Justice, Mr. Fytiris, has politely asked the Chief of Police to make Mr. Loizides, our national union firebrand, tone it down, or else “deal with him.” Oh please, Minister, don’t! His daily tirades...once on three channels at the same time, with two more chiming in shortly after...have become our new TV obsession, just a notch below Eurovision. If the national agitator goes quiet, Cypriot television will lose its raison d’être.
Our compatriot Annie (Alexoui) has now become even more famous than our compatriot Anna, yes, the one and only Vissi. Yesterday, she dared the Minister of Justice to call her, threatening to release a video allegedly covering up a murder! If things weren’t so tragic, it would almost be hilarious.
I must admit: this is Cyprus in 2026. The Lamborghini being washed by grandmas? Isn’t that just the Limassol towers next to people struggling to pay rent?
That we must endure this circus during our European presidency? Call it karma. We set the bar sky-high for something happening in every member state anyway, not because we earned it. Let’s hope next time, in about 13 years, conditions are a little kinder.
From the epic presidential line “we solved the water issue” to the sight of empty dams even after the record rains this year… And those extra desalination units? As long as we rely on fuel oil to produce electricity, they’re just a temporary, outrageously expensive fix. In short: we’ve managed to drown in a single drop of water. Drenched and still dirty.
I heard Anna Maragou call the Eurovision video “a disgrace that insults our country” and insist, “This is not Cyprus.” I’ll agree with the first part, but not the second. Yes, it’s a messy disaster, but it perfectly reflects who we are. I must admit: this is Cyprus in 2026. The Lamborghini being washed by grandmas? Isn’t that just the Limassol towers next to people struggling to pay rent?
Proudly, RIK declares their love for JALLA, while a group of artists, some calling themselves elitists and pseudo-intellectuals, sent a letter demanding the song’s withdrawal. Hold on. As always, faithful to tradition, no matter what’s happening on the planet—earthquakes, famines, floods—we put it all aside just to argue in peace. With that kind of stubbornness, we’ll suffer for it. So yes, go ahead. Cyprus: Give us JALLA.
