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12° Nicosia,
05 October, 2025
 
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Cyprus: The new Switzerland and other tall tales

From ''life support'' peace talks to madmen at the door, it's all happening in paradise.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

Hope for a solution has been granted a stay of execution—albeit on life support—and almost all political parties welcomed this development. We say "almost" because, as expected, EDEK once again expressed deep concern, although no one really knows why. Are they worried there is no hope for a solution, or are they afraid there might actually be one? Nobody, not even they, can say for sure.

Former Greek Prime Minister Antonis Samaras attended the "Woman of the Year" awards last night and, in the presence of First Lady Philippa Karsera, delivered a lengthy speech loaded with political undertones and warnings of “cooked-up unfair solutions.” Many were left wondering about his relationship with the current Greek government and who exactly his thinly veiled messages were targeting. All of this took place under the watchful eye of Kostis Hatzikosti.

Finance Minister Keravnos claims Cyprus can easily be compared to the new Switzerland. According to him, not only are we not facing any economic issues, but we also have a gigantic middle class

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Makis Keravnos claims Cyprus can easily be compared to the new Switzerland. According to him, not only are we not facing any significant economic issues, but we also have a gigantic middle class, supposedly accounting for—wait for it—65% of the population. One has to wonder, is the Minister even living in Cyprus, or does he just visit for vacation?

Clearly, his "research" must have involved asking his ministry directors and a few high-paid department heads, because there's no way he surveyed the common folk. If he had, he’d know that Cyprus' middle class—aside from a privileged portion of public servants, and not even all of them—is on the brink of extinction. And no amount of VAT exemptions on sanitary napkins or adult diapers will save them. Please, think of something else, and fast. And before the geniuses at the ministry jump in: no, exempting VAT on sugar won't help either—unless we all suddenly own a chain of bakeries.

In a social media post yesterday, the next great Cypriot political leader, Christoforos Tornaritis, confessed that in the now-infamous video with Fidias, he briefly—emphasis on "briefly"—displayed paranoid behavior. Surely, no one was surprised by the mention of paranoia, as the video itself could easily be a one-way ticket to the asylum.

However, the reference to "briefly" makes it clear that Christoforos' clock has stopped somewhere. We’re not talking about one fleeting moment of madness, dear writer. We’re talking about many moments and a truckload of insanity. As the song goes, “In Honolulu, in Honolulu, that’s where madness goes, it goes nowhere else," but apparently, madness has taken a detour to downtown Nicosia.

His other admission? He acted “like the madman at the door!” Please, underline the word "like." Upon hearing the word "door," Fidias dedicated Vicky Moscholiou’s hit song to him: “I stayed up all night by your door, softly singing, here’s paradise, here’s hell.”

On the other hand, we must all show due respect to a writer whose book—'Never Surrender'—was, according to his own admission, read by none other than the President of the Republic, on Christmas Eve, no less. The next day, the President read 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens. Both books are full of accumulated wisdom. And a few sprinkles of madness.

[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]

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Cyprus  |  politics  |  society

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