Onasagoras
There are five factions inside DISY, Cyprus’ main right-wing party, and our beloved influencer is now expected to herd them into something resembling unity. They are the Averofites (embittered but still closest to the old Clerides school), the Christodoulides loyalists (those who haven’t already defected to the far-right ELAM), the Anastasiades holdouts (few but tough), the Faithful (whoever happens to be in charge at the moment), and the Messianics.
The last are the dreamers. The ones waiting for a deus ex machina, a Messi of politics, a Messiah (for both the party and the country) who will lead DISY back to the Promised Land: power. Several names are in the wings, biding their time until the 2026 elections before showing their hand for 2028: Phaedonas, Pamporidis, Stylianides, and a few others are firmly in the Messianic camp.
Annita, meanwhile, seems to feel, perhaps not unjustifiably, that she herself is the reincarnation of that fair-haired tribe of the North which, according to scripture, will save us. Both us and DISY. We shall see.
Authentic - beyond denial - the viral photo of the Christodoulides-Ioannou kiss. Fact Check Cyprus
Meanwhile, the Americans, we’re told, found the fire’s Ground Zero, and the locals rejoiced as though the G-spot of the island had finally been discovered. Yet they could just as well have asked the mukhtarina in Mallia (who is still pulling her hair out in despair at what she lived through), and she would have told them not only where Ground Zero was but also how things might have turned out differently if coordination had been better. But what can you expect, when a citizen recently calling 112 to report a fire got the divine reply: “Why do you hassle me, sir? I’m not the one who’s going to put it out!” Add as many exclamation marks as you like. Jesus Christ, as the Americans would say.
The government also took heavy criticism in Parliament over the Energy sector, though the responsibility for decades of distortion lies not just with previous administrations but also with Parliament itself, too timid to confront the big private interests and the unions of the state electricity company. As the poet said, “for the Sun to turn, it takes a lot of work.” And to store the Sun, my poet, even more.
Cyprus, we’re told, now has the lowest level of unmet medical need in Europe. The enormous contribution of the National Health System to our quality of life is beyond dispute. The only questions: how much of the credit goes to Nikaros, and how much to Pamporidis? And how justified are the government-friendly trolls in their victory laps? Did our young Nikos really build the health service, only for others to steal the glory? Unanswered calls everywhere.
This op-ed was translated from its Greek original.
