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12° Nicosia,
21 June, 2024
 
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The President's rainy rhetoric on his undisclosed income

Satirical musings on Cyprus' quirky leadership

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

''The weather may be rainy, but the clear sky isn't afraid of lightning.'' With this romantic and poetic line, the president responded to his critics regarding the issue of his undisclosed income. It's as if the man doesn't even deserve a small oversight.

Listening to him, I must admit that two famous songs came to mind that fit perfectly. In "Rainy Weather," I couldn't help but think of Tsitsanis' song, "cloudy Sunday, you are like my heart, always cloudy, my God and Holy Mother." In "My God and Holy Mother," there's a clear religious element that unmistakably characterizes our Nikos, as well as the general belief that only a miracle can save us now.

In "Clear Sky," I recalled the lyrics sung with charm by Vougiouklaki: "just be patient, and the sky will become bluer." (For now, the sky is blushing slightly out of embarrassment.) But be patient because our President told us that he dreams of a state brimming with prosperity. Unfortunately, he meant prosperity for government officials. The rest of us can tighten our belts (and speaking of belts, I remembered the barber of Seville, and the one in Limassol, who pledged a little before the cut of the century). No matter, let there be a kind heart.

''But be patient because our President told us that he dreams of a state brimming with prosperity. Unfortunately, he meant prosperity for government officials.''

Speaking of hearts, it's worth noting the following: only benefits can come from the fact that many of our fellow citizens can no longer afford to feed their families. Because this mandatory diet and fasting will significantly reduce heart problems. So, don't be ungrateful and thank Zeus for pushing us toward a healthier lifestyle with his targeted actions. As for food? Eat sugar and drink coffee. Low in fat and VAT.

I must also confess that when I heard about the "lightning" - which the clear sky isn't afraid of - I inevitably thought of Zeus. What's this guy up to, I wonder? Is he enjoying his coffee, which, incidentally, costs the same as before the so-called relief measures? One thing is for sure: the prosperity that our President envisions, Zeus is fully enjoying it. And with extra pensions, no less. As for the rest of us, we can have a slice of cake.

Cyprus isn't far away, said the Greek Minister of Defense, Mr. Dendias. Kaselakis heard him and thought, "if it's close, why not take a little trip? It may not be Mykonos, but it has nice bars, especially in Limassol, which, I heard, is flying." So, in this way, he decided to catch the first plane and set foot on the sacred soil of the island of saints and sometimes beasts.

We're in for an interesting two days, that's for sure.

[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original and aims to capture the tone and sarcasm of the original Greek article to the best of its ability, but some nuances may be lost in translation]

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