Onasagoras
The story made global headlines. Qatar (yes, those damn Qataris again, always meddling, always targeting our spotless, pure-as-snow leaders) is reportedly planning to gift Trump a plane. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves; it’s not some old amphora or a piece of Lefkara embroidery like the humble trinkets we paupers give to foreign dignitaries. Nor is it a semi-retired aircraft like the one Mitsotakis sent us, the very one our own youthful pensioner prays over each time it takes off. No, no. This is something entirely different.
We're talking about an ultra-modern jet worth nearly half a billion dollars (!!!), a plane intended for the leader of the free world. It’s set to become the new Air Force One, replacing Air Force One, like the classic tale of the evil vizier who wants to become caliph in the caliph’s place. Heads of state everywhere turned green with envy. Macron, Mitsotakis, and the rest will only ever experience such grandeur in their dreams. But there was one leader, right here in Cyprus, who’s been there, done that, and got so used to the luxury, he practically got bored of it.
Naturally, I’m talking about our very own long-serving, well-traveled Nikaros, who upon hearing the news cracked a smile and murmured to Andri, who was busy rolling koupepia at the time:
“Did you hear, my Andri, all the fuss about the plane those damn Qataris are gifting Trump? I was the first to get a gift like that! Remember that amazing jet my Saudi buddy sent us for our holidays? Trump’s Air Force whatever… Please! When I was flying high-class, that guy was still in economy!”
Andri was visibly moved, recalling those unforgettable holidays in the massive jet with space for endless luggage. They’d even packed halloumi from Cyprus, because why not? Nikaros sighed wistfully and whispered, Make Seychelles Great Again.
Meanwhile, in local drama...
Chrysis Pantelides openly, and some might say clearly, disagreed with how President Christodoulides handled the Geadis blunder. While our young Nikos kept things vague, suggesting it would be "nice" if all six MEPs could just get along, Chrysis was more direct. He pointed to two MEPs he says are actively damaging the party, and we all know exactly who he meant.
This spat isn’t personal; it’s all about political survival. DIKO is in a fight to stop voters from drifting toward ELAM, or even bring some of them back. The stakes? Existential. And it’s now an open secret that in the prince’s party, there’s growing discomfort with the under-the-table flirtation between the Presidential Palace and ELAM.
Cypriot engineering at its finest
And then there’s the Kalavasos bridge. Apparently, it turned out 20 centimeters too short for fire trucks to pass under, setting social media ablaze. Among the more creative solutions floated? Deflate the fire truck tires to squeeze them through, then reinflate them afterward. Hey, where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Because… this is Cyprus.
*This article was translated from its Greek original
