Onasagoras
For anyone worried that Trump’s election might throw off our strategic ties with the U.S.—those essential space collaborations and our participation in the Star Wars program—the Presidential Palace has assured us that a “close associate” of Trump recently reached out to our very own Nicos!
Phew, what a relief! Seems we’ve even caught Donald’s attention now. Just imagine: soon, we’ll be back for a coffee at the White House, and this time, we’ll bring a little gift for Melania. But please, no generic souvenirs.
During the European Political Community Summit, Nicos Christodoulides shared a coffee with Erdogan. Now, I doubt Erdogan was the Trump associate who reached out but joking aside, that coffee might actually be far more important for our cause than the one he had with Biden. Cheers to that.
Do you think our bearded Nicos’s coffee meeting with Erdogan and Mitsotakis was less spontaneous than it seemed? Could it be a carefully staged start to a new path toward a solution? Oh boy, now Sizopoulos and the Prince (Nikos Papadopoulos) are going to be insufferable—especially if the coffee wasn’t brewed just right.
I’m seeing some social media posts from Turks expressing concern now that, following our strategic alliance with the U.S., we’re set to buy French weapons, too. Living for the day when we march into Istanbul, snapping selfies. And don’t forget: if a few wars slow down, the arms industry needs new ways to keep sales up. Defense Ministries worldwide, big or small, are always on the lookout for the latest gadgets. Funds are available.
Then I log on to X (formerly Twitter) and feel a wave of depression. It’s as if nothing in this place works properly—economic woes, scandals, a crisis in institutions. Everyone’s got complaints! But I switch over to RIK for the news, and my spirits lift. It’s like hearing about a completely different country, one where everything runs like a Swiss watch.
I’ve found the cure for my chronic gloom: whenever I’m feeling down, I’ll tune in to RIK and let my mood brighten. Sure, it may seem like their news reports come straight from the Presidential Press Room, but at least we’re saving money on RIK’s staff—just like my dear Nicos would say.
[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]
