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12 July, 2025
 
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Casper the Friendly Ghost claims responsibility as Cyprus enters the age of amateur terror

Terror, protest, and contradiction on the island of saints and scandals.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

Until now, we knew July 9th as the dark day in 1821 when the Ottomans hanged Archbishop Kyprianos for his involvement in the Greek War of Independence. We also knew July 9th as the title of a powerful epic poem by Vasilis Michaelides about the massacres of that day. From now on, however, July 9th will also linger in our memory as the night when our very own terrorist organization struck, in a rather bizarre, tragic way.  our very own November 17… excuse me, I meant our very own July 9.

The situation, of course, remains murky, and no one really knows what actually happened. According to data from the infamous spy van, the notorious ANTIFA, known for its anti-fascist proclamations and equally fascist tactics, claimed responsibility in a statement posted on a well-known website, written in fluent Cypriot dialect. A little later, however, they backtracked, or, according to some, clarified, that they never claimed responsibility at all, but merely republished the statement, whose authors remain unknown and shrouded in mystery. There’s even speculation it may have been penned by Casper the Friendly Ghost. I always knew we were a country known for our comic sensibilities, but I didn’t realize we also had ridiculous terrorists.

At this point, though, let’s give the devil his due. If this was, in fact, meant as a protest against the notorious bill banning demonstrations, which was finally passed yesterday, then it should be noted that many of us view it with deep suspicion, as we do anything that strips citizens of their rights and hands them over to any given Police Chief. That said, I fully support the abolition of the hood.

"Forces of darkness attacked the Republic." - Annita Demetriou

Now on to the other issue that raises questions: If protests are going to be so heavily restricted, how will hunters continue to block the highways every year to grill souvla? Unless, of course, hunters are children of a higher god, blessed with a special permit from our young Nikos and holding a timeless exemption. After all, let’s not forget the President of the Hunters’ Association once received a personal phone call from the President of the Republic, asking him to please reopen the road to traffic. So let’s keep our hands off the protesters we hold dear.

A general strike has been declared by the country’s 13 unions (an unlucky number, incidentally) if there isn’t immediate and full reinstatement of the Cost-of-Living Allowance (COLA). That this allowance, in its current form, disproportionately benefits those who need it least (mainly the high-paid public sector workers) seems to concern no one. That low-wage private-sector workers in most cases don’t receive COLA at all? Also nobody’s problem. There’s a general tendency in this country to protect and privilege the well-off. And in this tendency, Cypriot unions are always at the forefront.

Today is July 11, the anniversary of the tragic explosion in Mari, day of remembrance for the 13 innocent victims of that disaster. Never again Mari. Put an end to the slogan, "Screw the party and their lies" (το Κόμμα τζε τα μμάθκια σας).

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Cyprus  |  terrorism  |  Mari  |  opinion  |  Onasagoras

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