Onasagoras
Iran warns us to brace for $200-a-barrel oil. “Let those who pay in dollars worry,” a friend said, with as much understanding of the global economy as Fidias himself. Joking aside, we should be the ones stressing. With already sky-high fuel and electricity prices while oil sits at €50 a barrel, just imagine what happens at $200. Basically, we’ll be back to traveling by camels and donkeys; no other choice. Let’s just hope the hay, generously supplied by our politicians, stays cheap.
Annita calls for the agriculture minister's resignation, and the presidential palace declares it populism! Meanwhile, our young Nikos takes it a step further, claiming he’s focused only on the “essence.” Ah, President, you have no idea how much essence we’ll need to survive this one. Christodoulides added the heavy hint that he’s not thinking about elections, meaning the 2026 parliamentary vote. Sure, because he’s been running the 2028 campaign since his days as foreign minister.
The government, after posting all those patriotic selfies, even made young Nikos ready to take off in an F-16 and annihilate enemies, while realizing that being at the center of the Cyprus spotlight comes with a cost. So now they’re trying to dial it down. Fine. And speaking of dialing down, save some canned goods and toilet paper for the rest of us, will you? After all, the new ultra-modern shelters we’re building will include everything from canned food and toilet paper to jacuzzis and gyms.
Alert in the U.S. over potential Iranian drone attacks in California. Let’s just hope Hollywood is spared. After all, most of the big stars have historically sided with Democrats, basically anti-Republican and anti-MAGA/Trump. It would be awkward if they were the first casualties on American soil.
Seriously, this is an unprecedented threat. Never before in this century, or the last, has the U.S. mainland been attacked. Even the Japanese attack in WWII hit Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, not the continental U.S. Things are heating up, and remember: in this elephant fight, we’re the frogs. Best to stay quiet, low-profile, and maybe take fewer selfies for Instagram.
Trump seems tangled in something far more complicated than he expected. With pressure rising from Arab countries—who are paying a high price themselves—and 70% of Americans opposing war, he faces a choice: win fast or lower the bar on his original goals. Basically, he needs to drop the bar just enough so it doesn’t crush him. A very tall bar, indeed...a situation we know all too well.
