Onasagoras
Since yesterday, I’ve been scrolling through social media watching people lose their minds over the promotion and appointment of the First Lady to a new government position carrying an A15 salary scale. Mind you, the debate isn’t really about whether she deserved it, something I personally wouldn’t rule out, but rather about whether moves like this are feeding the already giant public suspicion toward the government, which, to be fair, has done quite a bit to earn that suspicion itself. There have been enough… “missteps” along the way to bring us to today’s toxic climate where literally everything is questioned.
So yes, the outrage was expected, even if, rationally speaking, it’s a bit much. Let Philippa earn a decent salary, you whiny, permanently offended compatriots. Have you seen supermarket prices lately? And anyway, you already snatched an entire foundation away from her hands. "Hands off Philippa the First," says this column, which admittedly has a soft spot for her. Calm down.
And as for the quote flooding Facebook and X yesterday: "Caesar’s wife must not only be honest but also appear honest," may I remind you that young Nikos is not Caesar. At least not yet. So sayings meant for the wife of the ruler of the Roman Empire don’t automatically apply to the wife of our own local version. Relax, please. Besides, we’re not living in the Roman Empire. Nor in a Roman arena. We live in the Republic of Cyprus… which occasionally behaves like an empire-lite version. And we all know what “this is Cyprus” means.
But the president’s wife wasn’t the only political spouse making headlines this week. Enter Ramona Philip, wife of Christoforos “Sikou Pano (Stand-Up)” Tornaritis. The well-known fashionista and influencer has apparently decided to “rise up” and will officially be on her husband’s party ballot after all. Christoforos even posted what can only be described as a public threat today: if Ramona doesn’t come first in preference votes, he’ll buy APOEL, and nobody else will see a championship until 2041. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call aggressive marketing.
Of course, we also had yet another politician-adjacent spouse dominating the news this week. This time it was our national YouTuber’s fiancée, Styliana, glowing brightly at Fidias’ side while he explained to us how we could win an invitation to their wedding and, naturally, presumably bring along an envelope stuffed with cash. I’ll be honest: I pulled strings to improve my chances, and I hope I succeed entirely on merit. Dear God, the things we are living through and somehow still accepting as normal.
Meanwhile, in another episode of “Only in Cyprus,” a priest has accused Tychikos of entering his church during divine liturgy and violently shoving him, sending him to the emergency room. Lord have mercy! While Tychikos and his extremely devoted followers insist the whole thing exists only in the priest’s imagination. Naturally, both sides have filed lawsuits against each other.
What can I say? I remain speechless, I remain in Paphos, and I wish, "Peace be unto you, brothers.” And remember: violence did not come from Paradise.
