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12° Nicosia,
18 July, 2024
 
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From TikTok follower to political pundit, a satirical dive into Cyprus politics

Navigating the halls of power with selfies and sarcasm

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

I've decided to get more involved in politics. Since I'm a bit curious, I've started obsessively following what's happening in Brussels. No, I didn't sit down to study because I'm also a bit lazy. But I became a follower of Fidias, so now I'm keeping track of EU Parliament events via TikTok. God sent us this young man. If he didn't exist, we would have had to invent him, as our national prince would say.

The President, however, has no choice but to invite Fidias to the National Council. Let's not forget that he alone gathered more votes than all the parties in the coalition combined. I'd love to see him break the seriousness of the National Council by showing up in shorts and a tank top and taking selfies with Koulias. Perhaps, just like the European Parliament taught him a lesson, the President will also give him a lesson on Cyprus. For example, how to pretend you're seeking a solution when in reality you want the opposite. Comedic tragedy perhaps? That's why we'll laugh... until we cry!

I'd love to see him break the seriousness of the National Council by showing up in shorts and a tank top and taking selfies with Koulias.

Mr. Hartsiotis, Minister and Theologian, told us, 'If we had twice the staff, maybe we would handle the fires better.' Apparently, our prayers didn't work out after all. Personally, I think even if you had triple or quadruple the staff, we'd still face the same antics, just on a larger scale. Enough with the excuse of supposed understaffing.

On the same day, I heard unionist Mr. Loizidis refer to - correctly guessed - police understaffing. Of course, we're talking about serious inaccuracies here. The truth is, relative to its population, Cyprus has the highest number of firefighters and police officers per capita globally. Just as it has, more generally - may party politics be well - the highest number of public servants. Unfortunately - and obviously - this isn't all for the best. Our problem is purely a matter of organization and capability. The rest are cheap excuses or, in other words, let's love each other.

The Electricity Authority (EAC) - which has repeatedly proven it doesn't have a good relationship with the truth - didn't accept any responsibility for the recent forest fires. Unfortunately, videos have shown their culpability. Besides burning through our pockets, they're also burning our forests. Shouldn't they at least cover the cost of reforestation in such cases?

Members of DISY insist on revisiting the issue of auditing the social support funds managed by the First Lady, who is also known as Philippa the First. Up to here, everything seems reasonable. Auditing public funds is fair and necessary. However, things got out of hand when rampagin AKEL MP's entered the debate. Guys, if you have arguments, present them politely. Shouting and crude insinuations only push people towards Fidias.

The abbot Nektarios claims he gave significant sums to Bishop Isaiah on many occasions, either for his election campaign or personal purposes, even in a black bag with a code reference. We're talking about huge amounts, and even if part of Nektarios' claims are true, the Bishop will have a lot to explain. Sadly, the case disappoints more and more believers.

I have the impression that we will soon be rocked by a new scandal, this time about the misappropriation of millions in a sporting event. Land of saints, savages and scandal.

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Cyprus  |  politics  |  opinion  |  elections

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