Onasagoras
This Week’s Quiz: Which patriotic political party is still hesitant to release the list of its advisors—and why? Find out in the Sunday printed edition of Kathimerini!
News Flash: Today, the monks of Avakoum ''did not'' change their lawyer!
''Illegal immigrants are eating our cats and dogs.'' —Donald Trump
In the first televised debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, the standout moment was when the former President claimed that illegal immigrants are eating Americans' cats, dogs, and basically all pets (he might have meant parrots or iguanas too). So, if you think our political scene is a tragicomedy, remember, it could be funnier!
“*How do we expect to attract talent or for officials to waive their pensions with annual salaries of €100,000 for Presidents and top officials? Pay decent salaries if you want to have expectations...*” This was more or less the gist of a recent post by a former minister. Get it, my poor friends? Pay up if you want the Ronaldo of politics—otherwise, you’ll end up with a Budimir (ex-APOEL striker who couldn’t score even if there was no goalkeeper).
I mean, really? If, hypothetically, we’re paying some top official of this country €100,000 in salary, covering all their bills, providing them with a chauffeured car, and even paying for their kids’ private school—would they really struggle to make ends meet? Are financial woes pressing them so hard that they can't deliver their maximum political performance? My cousin, an outstanding student with a master’s degree and a €1,400 gross salary, heard this and was dumbfounded. Apparently, many people hate money, but not our “top Cypriot officials.” Mr. Keravnos, perhaps we should bring back zero VAT on sugar and coffee for our struggling officials? Or maybe we should organize a fundraiser?
“The reading of my book and other important books about Cyprus...” Can you guess who wrote this gem? Not Leontios Machairas, nor George Seferis, that's for sure. The author, who ranks his book among the most important works for our country, is... *drumroll please*... the one, the only, the philosopher, the political mentor, the life coach, the writer, Christoforos “Never Surrender” Tornaritis. Guilty confession: if he starts a political party, I’ll vote for him. I’ve seen much worse.
Years will pass, the ship from China will have docked in Vasiliko, the undersea connection will be complete, and we’ll still be trying to figure out what exactly was in that giant suitcase the monks hauled into court. Yet another one of the Mysteries of our Church.
[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]
