Removing stains from Cyprus, one scandal at a time

So, the President's got a diverse bunch around him with all sorts of ideas and interests. Now, thanks to some new (but not really) accusations in Cyprus Confidential, he's got to clean up our reputation. It seems Cyprus has more stubborn stains than Monica Lewinsky's dress.

But here's the hitch - they've put him in a tight spot. Some want to make a move, and others want to back off, or maybe play a game of Pelota. Meanwhile, Philippa the First insists that nobody should be untouchable, whatever that means. Let's see...

I noticed everywhere yesterday that the price of toilet paper has shot up. Luckily, food prices have gone up too, so we'll eat less, go to the bathroom less, and use less toilet paper. So, we figure the rise in the price of this necessary but often ignored paper won't really bother us. Otherwise, back to nature.

What did I find out last week about SYRIZA? Let me point out the two most important things: Mr. Kasselakis's husband, Mr. Tyler, mentioned among other things that Stefanos - not our AKEL's guy, but SYRIZA's - cooks fantastic ribs. Also, his bodyguard is 30 years old.

The Telecommuting bill got the nod in the private sector. A good move that goes with the flow of tech progress and a similar rule for the public sector is expected soon. Of course, for this kind of setup to work, the worker needs to be seriously responsible. Those who were sharpening their pencils at work before - let's not talk about services, no assumptions here - will now just keep sharpening them at home.

[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]