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12° Nicosia,
19 March, 2026
 
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Welcome to the ''West Wing'' of Nicosia

We’ve got our own West Wing, soon an Oval Office...all that’s missing is reality.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

I read somewhere that the President won’t reshuffle his Cabinet “under pressure” and that this is “the message leaking from the western wing of the Presidential Palace.” Western wing, you say? Like the Americans call it, the West Wing of the White House? Excuse me...did we turn into the White House and nobody bothered to tell us? Maybe it was one of those bright ideas from the American ATF, WTF… something-experts.

Of course, since Cyprus “belongs to the West,” the Presidential Palace must also have its… western wing. Fine, everything else may be falling apart, but when it comes to flashy and over-the-top descriptions, we’re pioneers. First we had the laughable “State of the Union,” and now we’ve advanced to building our own West Wing. Next thing you know, we’ll have an Oval Office too. And maybe rename our rickety old tin can with wings 'Air Force One'. Self-awareness is a virtue, but megalomania, that’s our national sport.

And when Christodoulides said he welcomed criticism, he obviously didn’t mean it literally. At least not if you believe the Cypriot journalist who posted a screenshot claiming that after he commented under one of the president’s posts, young Nikos blocked him. Blocked him! What? This can’t be real. Land of lemon and olive trees? No. Land of delete and block. A golden-green leaf tossed straight into the… West Wing.

Meanwhile, the day’s other headline: a Cyprus police officer allegedly threatened a citizen for criticizing the government. Hard to believe, yet sadly true. Have paranoia and division in this country hit a boiling point? Are we sliding back to the Cyprus of the 1970s? Are the chants of “EOKA B strike again” in stadiums just coincidence? Or is it finally time to start protecting our democracy, battered, flawed, and limping though it may be? Just asking. Calmly.

As for the Justice Minister, what does he have to say? Because the gossip, which of course I refuse to believe, is that his views aren’t too far off from those of the late Archbishop, the one who described them as “good boys.” You know who. Just like we all know, deep down, who was hiding under the hoods at Avvakoum Monastery, even if we’re too afraid to say it out loud. Maybe this is the price of governing hand-in-hand with your unofficial coalition partners? Lord, put a guard over my mouth.

And then there’s EDEK. Just when we thought things couldn’t possibly get worse, well, surprise! Officials resign left and right without anyone even noticing, while others choose to announce their departure not in EDEK but on Facebook. Instead of letting their hair down, they’ve tangled themselves into one giant knot. Poor Vassos must be watching from above, shaking his head in despair. He’d be wearing his face inside out. For shame!

*This op-ed was translated from its Greek original

TAGS
Cyprus  |  politics  |  opinion

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