Onasagoras
Yesterday, we witnessed one of the most evenly matched votes ever held in the Cyprus Parliament. MPs were called to vote on the proposal from AKEL for a one-off tax on bank profits. The match ended in a draw, and after extra time and penalty kicks, the Banks ultimately triumphed. It was a large, human-scale vote, despite the skeptical chorus singing, "But the match was fixed from the start, and you’re wearing red scarves."
The man who, for years, had associated his name with the Banks in Parliament (often criticizing them, yet somehow, his critics claimed he secretly protected them), the legendary fox from Argaka, was absent from the parliamentary benches yesterday. He was in Armenia, supporting the efforts of his fellow fox, Prodromos Petrides of APOEL, as they tried to make it to the next round of the Conference League.
Now, if he had missed the vote for some serious reason, like, say, a meeting with the President of the United States, I could understand, I said with a clear jab and implied sarcasm, to my still-unappointed friend, a supporter of Christodoulides, during our beer session last night. "APOEL is much bigger as an idea than Biden," complained another friend, a loyal Averof and APOEL fan. I had no choice but to agree. Soon, no one will even remember Biden, but APOEL is an idea, immortal and forever, continued the fan of "Foulis" (Averof). "It’s nice that all three of our teams won," I said, and the pro-government friend raised his beer and shouted, "Look at all the successes Christodoulides has achieved and you don’t even recognize them. Since he became President, the Paphos team has been soaring." I looked at him in admiration. A little later, he failed the breathalyzer test.
Yesterday was a day of celebration for AKEL, said the left-wing member of our group, and I was perplexed. But the proposal from the reformed party was narrowly rejected, I reminded him. He replied that these parliamentary games don't matter as much to the public as the games of the Syliakkas (a local football manager). "We beat the Austrians and now we have hopes for qualification," he told me. Hope dies last. Of course, some bitter critics say that in our case, Hope has already committed suicide. "Go Omonia, to new victories," he added.
I read that Cyprus is starting its rebranding process with an international communications firm. Essentially, we want to be known for more than just sunshine and corruption. But, dear friends in the Government and the CTO, the rebranding we truly need starts with the people of the country. When people are happy, when they smile at tourists (instead of overcharging them), when they trust the state institutions, and when they can pay their bills at the end of the month. If you don’t improve the lives of those who live here, no international communications firm will be able to fix the country's image. It’s so simple.
The surge in potato prices is starting to resemble Bitcoin at its peak, and it’s not impossible that, as things are going, the next war might be fought over the heart-shaped bulb of our national food. So, I’ll end with some song lyrics referencing our beloved potato. Romantic Tsaligopoulou sang, “A nice, chunky potato, white and tasty, on the greengrocer’s stall, cuddling with a mango.” And since it’s Friday, the end of the week, let’s finish with a bit of trivia: another name for the potato is “earth apple.”
[This article was translated from its Greek original]
