CLOSE
Loading...
12° Nicosia,
23 July, 2026
 
Home  /  Comment  /  Opinion

Of patriots, politicians and souvlakia: Cyprus in all its glory

From AI presidents and solar-snubbing bus stops to rising political stars, welcome to another week in our perfectly flawed democracy.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

The ''Never-Surrender'' Tornaritis is aiming for double digits with his new movement, ''Rise Up.'' And he’s absolutely convinced it’s going to stir the waters. Sound crazy? Not to me. In a country where Fidias managed to score nearly 20 percent, why shouldn’t Tornaritis, who, by the way, once mentored him, pull off 30? Oh, it’s going to be fun.

Let’s not forget the ultra-patriot whose equally patriotic mother pulled strings, unsuccessfully, thank God, to keep him out of military service (no connection whatsoever to the leaders of that other party). This same patriot is buddies with another national flag-waver whose company sold military gear to Turkey, all while yelling at the rest of us to rise up and toss the Turks into the sea. I could go on, but... I won’t.

According to the Economist Intelligence Unit’s report, Cyprus is officially classified as a “flawed democracy,” among the EU’s worst performers, especially in terms of “functioning of government.”

RAEK has finally approved the request for electricity storage in the national grid, meaning battery systems totaling 400 megawatt-hours will be installed. Finally. Hallelujah! We’re now moving forward with plans and actions that should’ve happened ages ago. But hey, better late (in our case, really late) than never.

Meanwhile in Rhodes, they’re upgrading 60 bus stops with roofs, benches, chargers, wheelchair access, live info screens, and solar panels. All at a cost of €3,000 each. Just saying. Here’s Rhodes showing us how it’s done, while we paid triple the price for stops that arrived without even basic shade. But who needs shade in a country like ours, right? Where it’s cloudy and raining all the time. That was also the view at the EAC for years, as they blissfully ignored the sun and the free energy it provides. Honestly...stop the Earth, I want to get off.

Cyprus: A “flawed democracy” according to the EIU

According to the Economist Intelligence Unit’s 2024 report, Cyprus is officially classified as a “flawed democracy,” ranking among the EU’s worst performers, especially in terms of “functioning of government.” But I’m not worried. Everything will surely improve once the president returns from his latest overseas tour.

The two shocking headlines of the day

The first? That video of the president making the rounds, created entirely by AI!
The second? The Fox of our hearts was spotted dining at a tavern with the Influencer of our hearts. They had souvlakia, in case you're wondering.

Full, extensive, absolutely-not-fake coverage of both earth-shattering events in this Sunday’s Kathimerini, in the Onasagoras column.

*This op-ed was translated from its Greek original

TAGS

Opinion: Latest Articles

This summer, as vacation posts flood our feeds, it is worth remembering that what we see online is rarely a complete or accurate picture of anyone's life. Photo credit: Unsplash

The FOMO industry

As social media turns everyday life into a carefully curated performance, the fear of missing out has become less of a personal ...
Paris Demetriades
 |  OPINION
The public warmth between Donald Trump and Recep Tayyip Erdoğan says more about today's strategic landscape than Nicosia's expectations. Photo credit: AFP via turkiyetoday.com

The navel of the world

Cyprus risks mistaking diplomatic optimism for geopolitical reality as the EU's priorities increasingly center on Turkey. ...
Pavlos Xanthoulis
 |  OPINION
The unanswered questions that have haunted soldiers and refugees for decades continue to point one man toward faith.

Bullets are not spared...

A new memoir revisits the impossible choices of the 1974 war through one survivor's personal testimony.
Opinion
 |  OPINION
America's constitutional checks will be crucial ahead of the 2027 French presidential election and future global stability. Photo credit: www.nato.int

Whatever happens in Ankara...

Trump's praise for Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan leaves Athens with little room to respond through traditional ...
Opinion
 |  OPINION
Competing calendars and weaponized histories manufacture the illusion of an inevitable final conflict. Image from The Crusader Bible at The Blanton Museum of Arts

Reality or narratives?

Our obsession with historical cycles blinds us to the present reality in the Middle East.
Opinion
 |  OPINION
How Cyprus turned a simple commute into a daily battle, and why making driving inconvenient is our only way out. File photo

From dead end to one-way street

Between smartphone-blind pedestrians and traffic-choked streets, it is time to admit our car dependency has hit rock bottom. ...
Paris Demetriades
 |  OPINION
Critics argue the reform is designed to deliver immediate political gains while postponing the difficult decisions needed to secure future generations' retirement prospects.

Limited-liability pension reform

Government proposals promise higher benefits and lower early-retirement penalties, but questions remain about the long-term ...
Opinion
 |  OPINION
As questions mount for former president Nicos Anastasiades, Cyprus faces a larger reckoning over accountability, institutional trust, and political culture. File photo

The report is only the beginning

The findings point to possible corruption at the highest levels of public life, but the challenge now is ensuring a credible ...
Opinion
 |  OPINION
A growing list of America's partners have learned how quickly loyalty can be discarded. File photo Pixabay

Where are the Iranians?

As Iran falls silent after military strikes, those who hoped for liberation are left with uncertainty, fear and unanswered ...
Opinion
 |  OPINION
A reality check for us Cypriots

A reality check for us Cypriots

The findings of the anti-corruption authority challenge both our blind trust in institutions and our claims that everyone ...
Thanasis Photiou
 |  OPINION
Does money bring happiness?

Does money bring happiness?

A reflection on village memories, Cypriot flavours and modern dining shows that while wealth is debatable, a good meal always ...
Michalis Michaelides
 |  OPINION
X