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12° Nicosia,
19 March, 2026
 
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Trump, the Brazilians, and the Cyprus Problem

All quiet on the Iranian front, noisy as ever on the Cypriot one.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

An agreement to end the war in Iran, an agreement between APOEL and the Brazilian investors. All on the same day. Coincidence? I think not.

So, the great but undeclared war between the United States, Israel, and Iran (with Russia in standby mode) went into a ceasefire, and all sides are celebrating their victory. It reminded me of Cyprus elections from back in the day, when everyone would celebrate in the end, no matter the outcome. Any outcome was spun as a massive win.

We have an agreement with Brazilian investors. —Prodromos Petrides

That was the era of the classic slogan: “This great victory belongs to DIKO,” although you could easily swap DIKO with any other party and it would still fit. I miss those days, when everyone won and everyone was happy. Unlike now, where everyone’s losing (except for ELAM so far) and everyone’s pissed off and snapping at each other. MEGA: Make Elections Great Again.

Donald showed up furious yesterday. Not that it came out of nowhere: First, he gave Iran a two-week deadline. The next day, he bombed them. The day after that, he thanked them for warning him before bombing back. Then he announced a ceasefire that no one honored, marking the end of hostilities in what he dubbed “The 12-Day War.” Finally, he said he wasn’t happy with Israel for unleashing a missile deluge on Iran after the so-called truce, adding, “We basically have two countries that've been fighting  so long and so hard that they bascially don't know what f*&k they're doing!” Oh help us, God.

“With great pleasure, I welcomed the EU’s special envoy for the Cyprus Problem, Mr. Johannes Hahn. The EU’s willingness for active involvement reaffirms its determination and commitment to playing a leading role in resolving the Cyprus Problem.” Thus spoke the President, gravely and with grandeur.

But, jet-setting Nikos, it’s not the EU’s determination that the international community questions but that of the directly involved parties. So it’s we who need to prove our commitment to moving the talks forward. Not the foreigners. And since July is just around the corner, and looks to be a scorcher, in both literal and figurative terms, I fear all these speeches and all these trips won’t count as progress. They’ll press us for results, dear Nikos. And then what shall we do without the barbarians?

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Cyprus  |  opinion  |  Trump

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