Onasagoras
We’ve solved the water crisis, said the President, and just like that, my aunt grabbed the hose and went back to her favorite hobby: watering the dirt and the yard! Hear that, Annita? You wanted emergency measures? Christodoulides pulled an ace from his sleeve, or rather from the sheikh’s robe in the United Arab Emirates. Looks like we might not have to bathe in imported Alpine mineral water after all. Thank God, and thank the UAE.
So our very own Nikos, like a modern-day Saint George, it was his saint's day yesterday, bless him, took up his spear, hopped on a plane, and slayed the Water Dragon. So instead of singing “water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink,” we’ll be belting out “one cold glass of water, dear Vangelio!”
He explained that the United Arab Emirates will generously gift us 13 desalination units. Free of charge. No rent. Because, and I quote, “they are our friends.” Let’s just hope the purebred Greek Orthodox folks over at ELAM don’t get too offended that we’re calling foreign, non-Christian types “friends.”
This all reminded me of the Saudi prince who used to lend his private jet to Nikaro, just because they were “friends.” Or those lovely Qataris who were all set to make a mammoth investment in Cyprus back in Christofias’ day, and in the end, all we got was the cost of a 3D rendering. Still, I’m cautiously optimistic that this will be chalked up as a success for the President and not just another PR firework. Our precious water will not run dry.
Of course, the doubting Thomases and eternal skeptics of our young Nikos are already grumbling. If this was all part of a grand plan, why did the Minister show up the next day completely clueless about the details? What might the sheikhs want in return? How much will desalination cost if we can’t power the plants with stored solar energy? What about agriculture? Are we going to irrigate the fields with overpriced desalinated water? I read all this and more on X, but to be perfectly honest, I just care about not being thirsty and occasionally having a shower. Let’s not be like the guy in the proverb who was gifted a cucumber and complained it was crooked.
As for the infamous Easter traditions, and the bonfires in particular, that conversation should’ve happened ages ago, not “after the festival’s over” as always. Hopefully, this year’s tragedies taught us something and we won’t be back next year with more dead and injured. It’s urgent that the necessary laws are passed, so we don’t have to witness the same grotesque spectacles all over again. There’s really no excuse left to tolerate this madness. Act now and “strike while the iron’s hot,” as they say.
This opinion was translated from its original Greek.
