Onasagoras
''Everyone is responsible for their own car,'' said the Minister of Transport, Mr. Vafeadis, regarding the problematic – and deadly – airbags found in tens of thousands of unsuspecting drivers’ cars on Cypriot roads. In other words, "drivers, good luck figuring it out on your own," or more bluntly, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." For English speakers, the Ministry’s message can be summarized as: "Cut your neck, please."
However, a little later – and after MPs were demanding his resignation – the Ministry backpedaled and is now looking for a better solution than turning drivers into amateur mechanics, tearing apart their vehicles to check if they’re safe. Personally, I wouldn’t face much of a problem since I always keep a spare blue mechanic’s jumpsuit from my school years when I worked in a garage during the summers.
A friend of mine also said he’s not worried because his car is so old that airbags hadn’t even been invented when his model was first released. Lucky him. He did want to buy an electric car with the generous €10,000 subsidy from the government, but unfortunately, he was missing the other €40,000. So, not so lucky after all. Three of my acquaintances (all coincidentally millionaires) benefited from that highly targeted subsidy. Lucky them. Let’s also remember the good side of our Welfare State.
Municipal Tensions in Dromolaxia-Meneou
An intense verbal altercation broke out between the Mayor and a member of the municipal council in Dromolaxia-Meneou, with both sides filing complaints at the local police station. In fact, if they hadn’t been separated, fists would likely have flown. A decade after the infamous Dromolaxia scandal (involving shady investments and kickbacks that shook society and the AKEL party), the community is back in the spotlight for the wrong reasons, and coincidentally, the mayor is once again from AKEL.
What struck me the most while reading about this case was that this tiny municipality has 21 municipal councilors. – I am speechless. – And I’m staying in Meneou. It’s like New York City. A truly impressive achievement from the Local Government Reform. This will go well, right? Not.
Cyprus Losing Its Appeal
"The attraction of Cyprus as a destination has faded," said the President, referring to the emptying of migrant reception centers. Oh, how wonderful. But the problem, dear Niko, is not for it to stop being an attractive destination for migrants – the real issue is that it should not stop being an attractive destination for the indigenous locals, because we don’t have anywhere else to go.
For example, with the same amount of money that not long ago used to fill up our supermarket carts, we now get half the items. Believe me, that is definitely a sign that this is no longer an attractive destination for anyone, except for the high earners to whom you generously gave a raise.
President’s Setback Over Wealth Declaration
A court ruling requiring the declaration of assets for the Attorney General and his Deputy has been described as a defeat for the President. When asked about it, it’s rumored that he replied: "Please, I don’t want to comment, I’m still mourning the dismissal of my dear friend Odysseas Michailidis." Always authentic and sincere, our beloved Niko, may God take years from us and give them to him.
Teen Sends Threatening Emails About Explosives
A minor in Cyprus has been arrested for sending threatening emails about explosive devices to Greek airports. It’s safe to say that the new generation has certainly moved forward. In my day, the most significant act of terrorism a teenager could commit was breaking the so-called "stinky bomb" (a foul-smelling gas capsule) in class, and the rest of us would just chuckle at the disgusted expression on the teacher’s face when she entered the room. To those who remember, and to the younger generation, take note.
[This article was translated from its Greek original]
