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12° Nicosia,
13 June, 2024
 
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Politics Blog: A satirical take on current affairs

Exploring the quirks and ironies of daily life in Cyprus

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

I begin today's column with a clarification: there is no issue of institutional credibility in Cyprus. There is, however, an issue of credibility regarding the individuals representing the institutions. Now that we've cleared that up, let's move on.

"This year, on my birthday, there's less room for celebrations and more need for work," our national Prince (Papadopoulos) wrote in a touching post, sending the clear message that this year, there won't be any glamorous birthday parties or live performances by Hatzigiannis. Oh, the sacrifices for the homeland, oh, how many...

The Minister of Justice - yes, the one who prayed at Ayia Zoni for the Cyprus issue to be resolved - initially complained that journalists were causing problems (doing their job, unfortunately not the case for his subordinates).

Then he told us that if there's any responsibility for the recent prisoner escape, it will be accounted for. IF! Meaning there's a chance we'll have an escape without anyone being responsible! Put many exclamation marks, we'll need them, after all, in Cyprus, we have to expect anything.

Furthermore, he expressed his dissatisfaction with the results of the fight against organized crime in Cyprus. Indeed. At this point, I can't hold back anymore and I have to explain to him: the reason, Mr. Minister, why organized crime reigns in our land while the state flounders is that crime is organized and the state is "look the other way". Well, I couldn't take it anymore, someone had to say it.

And you, esteemed journalists, don't write that yesterday we had a murder attempt at midday in front of a police station because, based on recent statements by Mr. Hartsiotis, your reports are responsible for the chaos in the Police. And if you don't report crimes, it's as if they don't exist and so people will feel safe. What don't you understand?

They accused our young Nikos of continuing to receive an overseas allowance when he became Foreign Minister even though he resided in Cyprus. The ungrateful ones don't understand that someone who has read 5000 books and is a citizen of the world feels like he's constantly living abroad. Master, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

I read that the new Ministry of Labor building leaks "when it rains heavily", resulting in flooding even in the Minister's office. Well done to the contractors, as it only leaks when the rain is "heavy". Can you imagine if it flooded even when it drizzled? Oh Lord, keep my mouth shut...

[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]

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