

Onasagoras
First things first, so I want to reassure everyone: The rumors that what transpired in the now-infamous police car scene becoming the new punishment for crossing the line at traffic lights are false. And let’s be honest, we’d all much rather take the €300 fine. Speaking of fines, a reasonable question arises: How do they manage to stay so stealthy when setting up speed traps, but fail miserably at hiding during romantic entanglements? Worth noting, of course, are the words of Mr. Loizides, who clarified that what we saw in the video is not standard practice among the more than 5,000 police officers serving our nation. Thank goodness he cleared that up...
In a bold rebranding of the term “eternal student,” the leader of the Stand Up Movement, Christoforos Tornaritis, finally graduated and got that long-coveted Law degree. Naturally, he couldn’t resist giving a brief speech, which he wrapped up by shouting “Stand up!” to thunderous applause from classmates young enough to be his grandchildren. Rumors that he’s planning to do a Master’s at 80 and a PhD at 95 remain unconfirmed. The relevant video made its way to social media and went instantly viral, outshining even the much-hyped visit of the Indian Prime Minister to Cyprus. Christoforos: 1 - Modi: 0.
A young fan of the Speaker of the House wrote and dedicated a song to our favorite influencer, which includes the following lyrics, among others:
“Annita, your name is fire, a president who changes hearts’ desire (perhaps next up, president of the Cardiology Society?), with strength and speech, with truth so deep, You are the hope for every generation…” Wow, just wow.
Admittedly, the lyrics don’t exactly evoke Bob Dylan or John Lennon, and the melody doesn’t bring to mind Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga. Odds are it’s the product of an AI platform, probably the free version with the weaker features. Still, it’s the first song ever dedicated to a Cypriot politician, so it earns a rightful spot in our island’s cultural archives. You can enjoy it in full on YouTube.
We await similar musical tributes to our young Nikos, the Fox of Argaka, and our national Prince. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind hearing songs dedicated to Nikaros or to Nektarios of the Avakoum Monastery either. Generally speaking, for those who’ve toiled for this country, a little song in their honor is the least we can offer, alongside our eternal gratitude. God bless them.
As for the firefighting helicopters, this is clearly a topic that’s going to spark (no pun intended) much discussion in the near future, both in society and among investigative journalists. There are plenty of unanswered questions, and the waters (of firefighting) are muddy. Just how strict are the specifications regarding their capabilities and safety? Who performs inspections, and where are those reports? What permits are required (and to what extent is legislation followed) when a helicopter is allowed to carry a civilian, a party liaison, or a wildfire firefighter mid-flight? We’ll be back with more burning questions, so hot, no firefighting helicopter could put them out, and answers that may raise even more eyebrows. Stay tuned.