Onasagoras
“Wait, the president’s off on another trip? Honestly now, does he only come to Cyprus for vacation or when a foreign official happens to drop by? How can he be so relaxed when next month we’ve got critical talks that could shape the future of the Cyprus problem?”
That’s the question one user posted yesterday on platform X, only to be met with this delightfully pessimistic and sarcastic reply:
“Don’t worry, there’s been thorough groundwork done to ensure the talks fail. That’s why the president’s main pillar of support, ELAM, is so chill right now.”
In this staggering absurdity we live in, sometimes all we can do is laugh.
No way! Personally, I refuse to buy into the negativity and snarky takes, but hey, in a few weeks we’ll find out whether all this creeping pessimism is grounded in reality. Time will tell.
A song for madam speaker
This morning, I was driving with the radio on when the hosts decided to call House Speaker Annita Demetriou live, on her mobile, no less. She picked up and told them she was in a meeting. Undeterred, they insisted she hear a song they’d written for her. “It’s fine,” they said. “Let the whole meeting hear it!”
So, they played it.
Now, I don’t know if that meeting had anything to do with the war raging nearby. I don’t remember the lyrics either, because the sheer absurdity of it all sent me into a state of shock. I nearly lost control of the car and crashed into an EAC pole.
The song was upbeat, cheerful, dancey, pure YOLO energy. Honestly, it matched the timeless vibe of our Parliament. The hosts even joked it could become Parliament’s official anthem…or be sent to Eurovision.
Annita listened and thanked them politely. I’ll thank them too for gifting us a peak early-morning dose of pure surrealism. What a ride. Almost made me forget the patrol car incident.
But hey, you only live once. If you’re lucky. Not sure I’d survive a second round of life in Cyprus.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the madness
One day Trump’s telling Iranians to flee Tehran. Next, he claims he knows where their leader is hiding...he just hasn’t decided yet whether to kill him (!!!). Then he says he’ll decide on Iran “in the next two weeks.”
Clearly, the man has other things to do. Like playing golf. World War III can wait.
And on the other side of the globe, the ever-peculiar Putin casually remarks, “Our Iranian friends haven’t asked for help—yet.” A subtle hint at Russia possibly joining the chaos soon.
Honestly, what is happening? Are we living in some tasteless AI-generated nightmare simulation? Somebody stop the planet, I want to get off.
This whole mess reminded me of that old Kalatzis song: “Dad, what kind of world have you brought me into? Mom, it doesn’t suit me, can I return it?”
Cyprus saves the Middle East… and possibly the galaxy
We wrap up today’s column with what might be the third most important topic of the week (after Modi’s visit and the patrol car video): Cyprus’ message to Iran.
Amid the endless trolling about our attempt to mediate peace in the Middle East, despite not being able to solve our own Cyprus problem, one gem stood out:
“George Lucas has reportedly requested Nikos Christodoulides to mediate and finally end the Star Wars saga.”
In this staggering absurdity we live in, sometimes all we can do is laugh.
