Onasagoras
These are whispers—'Whispers of the Heart', as Michalis Hatzigiannis once sang—so take them with a grain of salt. A meeting reportedly took place between Young Nikos and Elder Nikos. On the menu: black-eyed peas and fish, with fasting-friendly sides like taramosalata and hummus, because the younger Nikos is a religious man. He fasts, he repents, and he admits he has sins to shed—though some might argue that simply coexisting with Sizopoulos and Koulias is punishment enough.
On the other hand, the elder Nikos—both in age and stature—has no such need for fasting, confession, or repentance. After all, according to various sources (mainly himself), he is pure and untarnished. And let no one dare challenge this claim, lest they be smitten by the Devil himself—especially with Easter just around the corner. The dinner was accompanied by a barley-based juice, and no, we’re not talking about beer.
The secret supper
The column’s beloved Philippa the First—admired for her style and more—kept a respectful distance from the Secret Supper of the Two Nikos. Meanwhile, the iconic line “Before the rooster crows three times, someone will betray you” was notably absent from the conversation. Nikaros, ever the jokester, quipped, “The rooster won’t get the chance to crow three times—if it wakes me from my siesta, it’ll end up in a wine sauce.” An awkward moment followed, but some laughed out of sheer politeness.
...the elder Nikos—both in age and stature—has no such need for fasting, confession, or repentance. After all, according to various sources (mainly himself), he is pure and untarnished.
As for the national cousin—following the recent blunder with the Maronites—she was nowhere to be seen. It seems it will be a while before she gets another (self-invited) spot at the Presidential Palace. The government’s communications strategists have already put their foot down; they’re too busy explaining away other… miscalculations, like the cutting off of solar panel connections and the looming water shortages.
The diplomatic balancing act
The president is heading to Geneva, tirelessly repeating that the goal is to resume talks from where they left off in Crans-Montana—always within the agreed framework of a Bizonal, Bicommunal Federation. The Democratic Party (DIKO), which expresses its opposition to this framework three times a day, is tagging along—not necessarily to support the president but because they believe that “if we don’t find enough problems in the solution process, we should invent some.”
The Cyprus reality check
I don’t want to be a pessimist, so I’ll put on my green glasses and try to see everything in the color of hope. But it’s hard to ignore the following:
- Affordable energy is a distant dream, despite the constant reassurances.
- The infrastructure projects in Larnaca have collapsed, and the Vasilikos project will cost us an arm and a leg.
- The national healthcare system (GESY) is in deep trouble, teetering on the edge of collapse.
- The local government reform was a tragicomedy—designed to cut costs but somehow making everything more expensive.
On top of that, solar panel production is frequently disrupted with no clear solution, and soon, as the relevant minister has warned, water cuts will be part of our daily lives.
Now, add to this the low salaries (Cyprus ranks first in Europe for lowest wages, according to a recent study), sky-high supermarket prices, outrageous rent costs, rampant favoritism that crushes ambition, and a bureaucracy that could break even the strongest of wills.
And then ask yourself: why would any smart and successful Cypriot living abroad want to move back?
Because, believe it or not, the president is planning a campaign to convince them to do just that. If he pulls it off, he’ll deserve an award—because it’ll be like selling snow to Eskimos.
*This article was translated from its Greek original
