Onasagoras
A pilgrimage to Apostolos Andreas—may his blessings abound—took an unexpected turn when the bus broke down. The incident sparked laughter in some, irritation in others, and a full-blown internal crisis within the party we lovingly refer to as "partially oppositional yet sufficiently governmental."
Sure, there’s been some tension among party members—former, current, and undecided (frankly, it’s getting hard to tell them apart). Some, however, seem to have their bows perpetually drawn, ready to fire arrows at a moment’s notice. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry now passes by Pindarou headquarters to "honk their horns," as some fantasize about dramatic comebacks, while others remain baffled about why the wheels have come off the cart in the first place. These words, courtesy of former minister George Pamboridis, cut deep. Ouch. His pointed remarks leave no doubt that his "arrows" are aimed at multiple targets.
Former MP Michalis Sophocleous also chimed in, lamenting DISY’s identity crisis, lack of leadership, and ambiguous positioning. According to him, these factors are to blame for the fact that “Christodoulides’ henchman trolls” have gone as far as branding him a traitor. The cart’s collapse, it seems, has ensnared quite a few passengers.
And then there’s Christoforos Tornaritis, who, having recovered from his epic clash with Faidias, has come back swinging, declaring that “some have turned DISY from a conspiratorial organization (a gang!!!) into a grocery store!” Add as many exclamation marks as you like—it still won’t do justice to his outrage. What’s he hinting at, exactly? Was his own brother perhaps a member of this so-called “gang”? So many questions, so few answers. The audacity of it all.
Let’s hope the bus mishap wasn’t a symbolic omen for Annita’s political journey. Could it foreshadow the breakdown of the vehicle steering her to the refurbished Presidential Palace? As young Nikos might cryptically say: “You will go, you will not return, and you will not die in battle.”
Also in question is how the Archbishop will react, given his recent tirade against those who visit the occupied areas, branding them with deeply offensive language. In this sign, conquer, Your Beatitude. When words fail, will the rod suffice? And what of the cart?
As if President Christodoulides didn’t already have enough on his plate, co-ruling EDEK’s skepticism over his NATO membership claims adds fuel to the fire. Enter our national prince, branding as naïve anyone who believes NATO accession is feasible before solving the Cyprus issue.
Many things have been said about our young Nikos—he’s even been called cunning—but this is the first time his naivety has been called into question. Remember when they told us that if he didn’t exist, we’d have to invent him? What a naïve statement!
Meanwhile, the prince insists that DIKO (much like EDEK) will continue to support the President, despite hardly agreeing on anything—and we’ll see how it goes. He even floated the idea of constitutional changes, including term limits for MPs. Oh dear. Did they run this by Koulias?
[This op-ed was translated from its Greek original]