Onasagoras
We begin today’s column with breaking news: today, we haven’t had a single prisoner escape. Of course, the day is still young, so we don’t know how it will unfold.
In Greece, Zoe Konstantopoulou has proposed her father as President of the Republic. Yes, you heard that right. Not that we’re implying anything, but at least you can’t accuse our young retiree of appointing her relatives. As you can see, there are, let’s say, more "meritocratic" options. There are even rumors that she’s planning to nominate her aunt for President of the Parliament. And can you imagine, she doesn’t even have a consultative council to advise her.
We’re now visited by so many Presidents and Prime Ministers with their entourages, that it’s certain our tourism – if nothing else – will see a significant boost this year.
Karousos has finally won the closely contested race for the vice-presidency of DISY. He was the heavy favorite, especially since he had no opponent. Jokes aside, let’s wish him all the best in his new position, since – let’s face it – the country needs a strong center-right party, despite the many flaws of the party establishment. After all, democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others, as a wise man once said.
In Cairo, the President is working on striking important intergovernmental agreements with the leaders of Greece and Egypt. Ever since I heard this, I can’t help but hum the great hit by our fellow compatriot Konstantina, “I’ll leave with my friends for Cairo.”
The President of Israel is visiting Cyprus today. I get the feeling that since our young Nikos posted that infamous photo with European leaders in a lush, idyllic setting (from Paphos, but it looked like Austria), we’ve become the go-to destination for political leaders worldwide. Eat our dust, Brussels.
We’re now visited by so many Presidents and Prime Ministers with their entourages, that it’s certain our tourism – if nothing else – will see a significant boost this year. There are even rumors that many of these leaders, when they return to their countries, tell their friends – in their own language, of course – "There’s no place like Cyprus."
According to data from the Republic’s General Accounting Office, public employees are paid salaries ranging from 1,320 to 8,258 euros per month. Of course, for the high earners, add generous bonuses and other perks that make them children of a higher god. Clearly, there’s money around – at least for some. And if there are any injustices, don’t worry, Keravnos will fix them. Not really.
Anyway, since I started writing today’s column, until the moment I finished it, we still haven’t had any escapes. As it seems, today’s measures are effective. We’ve become Alcatraz. And don’t forget: outside, we’re doing great.
This article was translated from its Greek original
