Onasagoras
The British Prime Minister is in Cyprus today for a working visit. The last time a British Prime Minister visited Cyprus was 53 years ago. Yes, you’re thinking what we’re all thinking: before the Turkish invasion of 1974. Clearly, for half a century and a bit more, they’ve felt a little guilty about their role in our troubled history. Anyway, welcome Prime Minister.
Averof’s critical statements about the Government at the "Secret Dinner of Reconciliation" in Paralimni— which wasn’t very secret and ultimately wasn’t very reconciliatory either— sparked an intense reaction from another DISY member, government spokesman Konstantinos Letymbiotis. Letymbiotis might have been a bit annoyed, too, since he wasn’t invited to the tavern with the rest of the party officials.
You see, the meze was excellent, even though they didn’t serve—at least not openly—Haboulla’s favorite dish. After all, there’s always room for everyone. A bit confused? Just wait until the voters get a load of it.
In any case, the dinner—and the subsequent statements—will go down in history because it reopened a chapter that everyone thought had been closed once and for all: the issue of expelling party members who didn’t support the official choice of the Disy party in the elections. Not again, please.
Meanwhile, some leaked information suggested that we acquired a missile defense system from Israel (even though we’ve called it Iron Dome, even though it’s not exactly that). Technically, this was supposed to be classified, but it’s something that scores communication points, and as the saying goes, “The Government tries to hide, but joy won’t let it.”
So, I’m pretty sure if you know who says "meow meow" on the rooftops, you’ve figured out who leaked the information. But as soon as Israel showed its displeasure with how “clueless” we are, we started pretending to investigate where the leak came from. We’re such a lovely atmosphere, and as the saying goes, "the one who understands, understands." We want to join NATO, but we’re worthy of leaking every confidential document just for the sake of "getting a scoop."
Yesterday, I tried to understand what’s going on in Syria, but it was really hard. You see, all the websites had as their main story comments from Malekkos on a late-night show. He said (perhaps after a few drinks) that “the man must be the boss in a marriage,” “the woman should stay at home,” and various other charming remarks from the 1980s. The host couldn’t hide her delight, having sniffed out the buzz and TV ratings. This gave rise to a new saying: “The host wants to hide, but joy won’t let her.” Some malicious advisor suggested that after Fidias and Malekkos, the next guest should be Tsioupis. That would really get the ratings going, dear ratings.
So, Malekkos—whether intentionally or somewhat staged—unleashed a war on Cypriot social media, while women’s organizations issued statements condemning the former football player from Omonia, Panathinaikos, and APOEL. It’s worth noting that Malekkos is the only football player in the world to have been booed by the entire stadium at a match (both Apoel and Omonia fans, since he played for both) and later claimed he enjoyed it! I can just picture him reading the insults on the internet and laughing. Go ahead, laugh—it’s contagious.
[This article was translated from its Greek original]
