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12° Nicosia,
10 October, 2025
 
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The Cyprus chronicles: AI ministers, strikes, and a high-tech fire hub

From AI ministers to carnival queens, Cyprus navigates politics, strikes, and high-tech fire centers with its signature mix of chaos and charm.

Onasagoras

Onasagoras

Albania, in a bold move to tackle rampant government corruption, has created its very first Minister of Artificial Intelligence, named Diella. Her job, without salary or overtime, is to watch over how government officials manage projects and handle contracts. She can’t be bribed or blackmailed, so naturally, she’s fair. Say what? Dear President, maybe we should get ourselves an AI minister too, skip all the headache of reshuffles. Think about it. It’s doable.

Meanwhile, back home in Cyprus, chaos reigns: mega strikes (because regular strikes are so last season), underwater cables (because when it comes to the sea, we usually make it a swimming pool; remember Larnaca Marina and Prometheus?), and the conviction of Giannakis (three, yes, three years). Somewhere in the madness, we almost forgot about that little unsolved issue called the Cyprus problem.

Holguin’s visit to Cyprus passed almost unnoticed. Lucky the president remembered; maybe she scribbled on a yellow sticky note on the fridge, or else she’d have wandered alone through the presidential corridors, and we’d be a laughingstock internationally. Nikos of our hearts promised her “many new ideas.” Yes, you heard that right, many. We’ve gone from the Gali idea bundle (not the basketball player, the other one) to the Nikos idea bundle. Is that good? I have no idea.

In party news, Theologos joins the DIKO ballot. Logical. With all the chaos and “funny business” happening there, divine assistance seems essential. Oh God, have mercy! Rumors that AKEL plans to promote atheists? Totally unfounded and malicious.

And then, the shocker on the radio yesterday while I was driving (I almost crashed!): the 2026 Carnival Queen has been announced! Oh yeah! Cyprus is so ahead, so modern, and so organized. We are forever ready for carnivals. Just remember that infamous Haircut Day in Limassol, when half the island was singing “Que te la pongo” and “We invite you to the crazy carnival.” Don’t mess with our clowns. Let’s hope the Carnival Queen isn’t sent to Australia that day.

On the serious(ish) side: a “New Pan-European Firefighting Center” is coming to Cyprus. Fuego, as Foureira would say. European wimps, come see how high-tech coordination and firefighting are really done. Bring notebooks, cute kittens.

Finally, the far-left resistance, the Celestina Party, promises to enter Parliament “to learn.” Oh. Where have I heard that before… Fidias, are you guiding them from the beyond?

As for the mega-strike, it barely affected most public services since no one answered their phones anyway, just like on regular working days. So, nothing really changed, and the public suffered no extra hassle. No harm, no foul.

This opinion was translated from its Greek original.

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Cyprus  |  politics  |  opinion

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