Newsroom
With the situation between Iran and Israel growing more tense by the day, Cypriot authorities have been reminding the public to be “prepared” just in case the island gets accidentally (or intentionally) caught in the crossfire. And while that sounds serious, once you actually check out one of Cyprus’ so-called “emergency shelters,” you might wonder whether it’s safer to just stay outside and take your chances.
The SafeCY mobile app is supposed to help you find the nearest bunker in case of emergency. Sounds comforting, right? Until you follow it to your designated shelter and discover... an underground junkyard.
In one registered “bunker,” residents found themselves staring at what looked more like the aftermath of a garage sale explosion than a life-saving refuge. Piled high: metal chairs, broken tables, an old microwave, A/C units, and an avalanche of plastic crates. If the bombs don’t get you, the furniture probably will.
Meanwhile, some shelters are literally inaccessible, boarded up with drywall. Others exist only in theory. One app-listed location, citizens report, contains “absolutely nothing, not even a building.” Shelter? More like a digital mirage.
Civil Defense says these underground spaces are only meant for short-term stays, and if an emergency strikes, owners of such shelters will be given a 24-hour notice to prep them. That is, if they can clear out the clutter and evict the bakery, workshop, or rogue storage unit that’s moved in since the Cold War. But shouldn't they already be prepped and ready? The missiles I know don't take 24 hours to hit their target.
Government officials estimate that 30–50% of the urban population is covered by shelters, though social media paints a different picture, one full of disbelief, dust, and doorless basements.
As for everyone else, especially those outside urban zones, the advice is simple: hide somewhere in your house that’s far from windows, lie on your stomach, cover your head, and hope for the best.
To be fair, there are a few modern, functioning bunkers around. SafeCy's app will list the closest one to you.
So while we’re all being urged to “stay alert,” let’s not forget to also “duck and cover” from falling filing cabinets, rogue toaster ovens, and whatever else our bunkers are hoarding. Because here in Cyprus, it’s not just about surviving the missile; it’s about surviving the furniture.
